the scene replayed itself in my mind more than a thousand times. sometimes i wonder whether your words are true or mere lip service. i know best how my temperament is like, and i appreciate your kindness in giving in almost every time. but what's making me shrink back from you is the way you harp on the things you did for me. right now, all i can feel is pressure from you. the pressure to do well. your inconsideration, or perhaps more of my over sensitivity. it's hurting me.

what has actually become of the girl who was always so full of confidence, who never had to feel worried because she knew she could achieve what she desired? where is she now? she has become someone trapped so deep in a world of her own, someone with inferiority complex, someone who cant even take a simple word stress, why is that so? it's really tiring to live in this kind of anxiety, because anxiety results in misery, and all these root from my own weakness. get myself out of this mess? it's easier said than done.

rejection, i want no more of it. the high hopes, the failed expectations. when can i ever get out of this vicious cycle?